Thinking About Becoming a Doula?

Here's What 25 Years Taught Me

By Stefanie Antunes, Co-Director

I’m officially in my 25th year as a doula, the same timeframe as Doula School, but with different roads and journeys that lead me here. Looking back all those years ago, I couldn’t have imagined where this journey would take me.

When I attended my first birth, I wasn’t thinking about building a school, mentoring thousands of birth workers, advocating for the profession, or watching doulas become recognized around the world. I was simply following something that I knew in my heart and soul: making birth more positive and healthy for one family changed their lives forever.

Looking back now, there are a few lessons I wish someone had shared with me. Some I learned quickly. Others took years. A few I’m still learning today.

If you’re just beginning your journey – or even if you’ve been supporting families for years – I hope these reflections encourage you.

The profession will grow beyond your wildest dreams

When I started, most people had never heard the word doula. We spent countless hours explaining what we did before we could even begin talking about why it mattered.

Today, doulas are influencing healthcare systems, collaborating with hospitals, becoming eligible for Medicaid reimbursement and covered by insurance in many countries, conducting research, teaching, speaking internationally, and supporting families in more ways than ever before.

The profession has grown in ways I never could have predicted.

And we’re just getting started baby.

Birth work continues to evolve because families continue to recognize the value of compassionate, continuous support. There are still challenges ahead, but if the past 25 years have taught me anything, it’s that this profession has an incredibly bright future.

Scarcity is a mindset, not a reality

Early on, it was easy to worry that there weren’t enough clients, enough opportunities, or enough room for everyone. That I could never make a decent living doing this work. I once remortgaged my house so that I could give up my corporate work and focus full-time on doula work. I made significantly less in those years because I had a terrible money mindset.

What scarcity mindset does to us is think that when another doula enters the community, it can feel like competition.

Over time, I realized something important: there are more families needing support than any one doula, or any one organization, could ever serve.

The more our profession grows, the more awareness grows with it. Every doula educating families, speaking in their community, or providing exceptional care helps elevate all of us.

When we shift from competition to collaboration, everyone benefits, especially the families we serve.

Honour your worth

This lesson took me longer than I’d like to admit.

Many of us enter birth work because we care deeply about people. We want to help. We don’t want finances to become a barrier.

But caring about families and valuing your work are not opposing ideas.

Your experience has value.

Your education has value.

Your time away from your own family has value.

The emotional energy you invest has value.

I remember one time coming home after a 20+ hour birth and exhaustingly climbing into bed. My husband turned over and said “what’d you make there? $2 an hour?”. And he wasn’t wrong. I was stuck in a loop around value, pricing and honoring my worth.

When we price ourselves sustainably, we’re not simply charging for hours spent on call or at a birth, we’re creating careers that allow us to continue serving families for years to come.

A profession grows stronger when its professionals can build sustainable businesses.

Community will carry you further than competition ever will

One of the greatest gifts of this profession has been the people.

Some of my closest friendships began because we happened to support the same clients, attend the same trainings, or believe in the same vision for better birth care.

I’ve learned that success isn’t about standing above others, it’s about standing beside them.

Celebrate each other’s wins.

Share knowledge generously.

Offer encouragement.

Refer clients when you’re unavailable.

Lift newer doulas as they find their footing.

None of us succeeds alone.

The strongest birth communities are built on trust, generosity, and a genuine desire to see one another thrive.

If you're successful, someone will copy you

No one told me this one.

When you create something meaningful, people notice.

Sometimes they’ll be inspired.

Sometimes they’ll borrow ideas.

Sometimes they’ll copy them almost exactly.

At first, it can feel discouraging.

But eventually I realized something freeing: people can imitate your website, your programs, your marketing, or your ideas, but they can never duplicate your experience, your relationships, your integrity, or your voice.

We regularly have people take our courses and then create their own. There is no question in my mind that they’re stealing our content. Some even take our courses through scholarships. That is SO out of integrity that the karma police are definitely paying attention.

But I know that innovation will always move faster than imitation.

Instead of worrying about who is watching you, keep creating. Keep improving. Keep serving.

That’s where your energy belongs.

Passion is your greatest marketing strategy

Over the years, I’ve learned that people don’t simply choose a program because of a curriculum or a credential.

They choose people. They choose authenticity. They choose enthusiasm.

People are drawn to those who genuinely believe in what they’re doing. Passion is contagious.

When you speak about birth with excitement, advocate for families with conviction, and continue learning because you’re genuinely curious, people notice.

Your knowledge matters. Your experience matters. But your passion is often what inspires someone to trust you.

The one thing I have that I have not seen in many people is a mono-maniacal determination to do this life’s work. Even when it’s hard. Even when I’m having tough years. There is simply no quit in me for this work.

Never lose that.

Twenty-five years later...

If I could go back and tell my younger self just one thing, it would be this:

Keep going.

The profession will change.

You will change.

There will be incredible highs and difficult seasons. There will be moments when you question yourself and moments when you can’t believe this is the work you get to do.

Through it all, stay connected to why you started.

Support others generously.

Value your work.

Keep learning.

Lead with integrity.

And never underestimate what can happen when passionate people come together to change birth for the better.

Here’s to the next 25 years, and to every doula who will help shape them.

Stefanie Antunes

Stefanie Antunes has been a Lamaze® Educator and doula since 2002, inspired by the birth of her second son and the importance of preparation and support in childbirth. She is a leader in the birth field, having founded Ontario’s first doula agency, helped secure insurance for doulas, created the Birth Doula Program, and helped establish Ontario’s first hospital doula program. She has held leadership roles with the Association of Ontario Doulas and DONA International, served as a DONA-approved Doula Trainer for 13 years, and now leads Doula School. Stefanie is also a published author, contributor, and media writer, and was named Canadian SME Business Woman of the Year in 2022 for her work improving birth experiences and supporting families.